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Living and loving with prostate cancer

by BlondieWrites on August 14, 2009

(ARA) - A man is supposed to be physically healthy and emotionally strong. So where does he turn to when a disease such as prostate cancer comes along, which threatens this? An international call to action has been launched which draws attention to the impact that prostate cancer has on a man’s love life, and calls for much better information to help couples through this difficult time.

More than 230,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer every year. “It is reaching epidemic proportions and is possibly one of the biggest challenges to men’s health in the world today,” says Tom Kirk of Us TOO International Prostate Cancer Education and Support Network.

The international call to action asks men and their families to confront the disease and assemble the best team of doctors and researchers around them for advice on treatment options, and draw strength from the loving support of their family to help them manage the impact the disease can have on how they feel emotionally.

Marriage and family therapists, Douglas and Sandy Jardine have firsthand experience living with prostate cancer, following Douglas’ diagnosis in 2006. “We knew that after his surgery for prostate cancer, erectile dysfunction would be inevitable at least for a few months” says Sandy. “We planned a romantic weekend away just before surgery day. We joked about having sex all weekend, but it was bittersweet and somewhat sad.”

“As a couple, we needed to know much earlier, and before the surgery, about the near certainty of some level of permanent sexual dysfunction after removal of the cancer. We needed clearer and more realistic predictions of how long it could take before things improved. Our hope is that health professionals will increasingly provide this education before surgery. This will empower the man and his partner, and could be of help in keeping the partners connected,” she says.

Prostate cancer survivor Jim Kiefert was diagnosed with prostate cancer 20 years ago at age 50. Kiefert, who is chairman of the board of directors of Us TOO International, was told that he had between one and three years to live. “I was told that I had failed the treatments and there was no known cure,” Kiefert says. “I felt very depressed. But my wife Maureen and I learned everything we could about prostate cancer and made changes in our diet and exercise, and practiced stress reduction. We’ve been real fighters.”

Although prostate cancer strikes only men, it can have a profound impact on the man, the couple and the family. “Keep talking to each other, reach out to family and friends, and learn all that you can about the disease. Join a prostate cancer support group, and put your relationship first. Listen to your partner’s feelings, and be a safe haven for each other,” says Sandy.

For additional information visit Us TOO International Prostate Cancer Education and Support Network at www.ustoo.org or ZERO – The Project to End Prostate Cancer at www.zerocancer.org.

Courtesy of ARAcontent

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Magic of Making Up: How to Train Your Man

by BlondieWrites on August 12, 2009

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The Magix of Making Up: Get Your Ex Back

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Relationship Tips: What Women Really Want in a Man

by BlondieWrites on November 19, 2008

There is a wonderful and adorable creation known as Man. There’s even a 50/50 chance that you are one of these men. Down through the ages, Man has sought to know more about Woman, how she thinks, what makes her tick, what she wants, and how to satisfy her. While there has been some success among the male persuasion in identifying what females want, there are still a significant amount of men who are at a total loss on just what a woman wants.

While these relationship tips cannot possibly speak for all of the female persuasion, they might possibly speak for at least 99.99% of all womankind, or perhaps one.

Most women, if given a choice, would much prefer hugs and snuggling over making love. This isn’t to say we don’t enjoy sex or want it, but most of us actually prefer the romance that comes with cuddling on the sofa and watching a nice movie with our man. We love it when we can give hugs and kisses and it just be because we want to hug and kiss our man, and not necessarily be doing it because we want sex. The sex act is great, but it’s second fiddle when it comes to what we really want, which is just spending quality time with you. And while admittedly we don’t generally care much for the manly action movies, we watch them with you because we love to see how excited they make you. The same goes for a football game.

Women love it when her man thinks of her in ways that don’t involve hopping into bed or spending money on material things. Women like the idea that their man is thinking of them. Little notes left for us, an email to say hi, or a message left on the answering machine are sweet and thoughtful ways to show you care while telling your woman you’re thinking about her. Again, this isn’t to say we don’t enjoy making love to you, this just shows us that you see more to us than a body.

The Toilet Seat dilemma has been raging since the invention of the toilet seat lid. Throughout the history of the toilet seat lid, women and men have fought over up or down. The truth is most women don’t really care if it’s up or down, they just argue with the man over it, so that they can give in, to make the man feel as though he has won the Toilet Seat battle. Women love their men so much that they want the man to feel that the Toilet Seat is their victory, so we let you keep it up so that you don’t have to reach down and pick it up when using it, thereby showing our love for you by reducing the amount of work you must do to use the bathroom.

We love the idea of being around our man all the time, as much as possible. But because we know that, as females, we tend to nag, we know you want your space so we give it to you. But we do it in subtle ways so as not to make it obvious that we know you want your space. So we ask you to do things like take out the trash or mow the grass or go to the store for us. This works great for the women because something gets done that needs doing and we show our love for you yet again by giving you space and time away from us.

Women love it when you want to cook for us. What woman would turn that down? But as much as we love the idea of our man cooking, we really prefer that you don’t attempt this at home unless you are trained. We are just as happy with take out, delivery, or roughing it for a weekend on the lake and living off the fish you catch and clean and fry.

Females are not the least bit upset when her man is driving and gets lost. Well, most are not, but of course there is always the wild woman exception. Women though, do tend to get a bit peeved when her man insists that he isn’t lost and refuses to ask for help or directions from anyone, and when he insists that the map is wrong and he is right. While most men are surely not this way, there’s always a chance that a stray man might happen upon this tip and need to be reassured that it’s okay to ask for directions and help when lost, and okay to actually admit that he is indeed lost.

The one main thing that women want men to know is that when she is in labor and having a baby, it’s never okay for the man to tell the woman that he understands her pain and suffering while she is pushing that baby out of a place that surely was never intended for such a thing to pass through. The closest a man can ever come to knowing that a woman is going through is to swallow a grapefruit and then attempt to wee wee this grapefruit out of his body, all the while his woman at his side holding his hand and telling him what a good job he is doing and how she understands his pain.

Men should always bring his PMSing woman chocolate. While it’s a great thought when she is PMSing, keeping her stocked with chocolate shows just how much you care, even more.

Letting the woman you love know how much you care is really a simple matter. It’s not about saying you love her all the time. It’s the little things like accepting her for herself, letting her know she is pretty even when she thinks she isn’t, talking to her and telling her how you feel, being there for her when she needs someone to lean on, letting her hold you up when you need someone to lean on, and just treating her and loving her the way you want her to treat you and love you.

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Women Fishing for Men: How a Woman Can Hook the Right Man

by BlondieWrites on November 19, 2008

One of the main quests in life for a woman is to find the right man that she can not only love but be happy and content with, and actually like. Fishing for a man can bring in a lot of catches on the hook, but most need to be thrown back in, not because of any flaw on the man’s part, but because they simply are not right for you.

In order to be successful in finding the right man, a woman first needs to know herself and she needs to love herself. Loving yourself is paramount to a relationship working out. Knowing who you are, your likes and dislikes, your feelings about various things, and your own personality are key factors necessary for a healthy relationship. Generally speaking, you want a man that matches your personality.

That sounds easy enough, but it’s not that simple. Too often both men and women bottle up their emotions, their feelings, their thoughts. Maybe it’s for fear of rejection, maybe they are afraid to share how they truly feel, maybe they don’t even know how to share, maybe they are just scared to love again after past hurts. Whatever the reason, in order for a relationship to work, both parties have to be open and be themselves so that who they are shines through, rather than hidden behind a wall.

The kind of man you want should be someone that accepts you for who you are and loves you as you are. He doesn’t want to change you. He doesn’t criticize your looks. He doesn’t make you feel inferior or that you aren’t good enough. He loves you as you are, loves your personality, loves everything about you. He is open and honest with you. He won’t tell you what you want to hear, he will tell you the truth. He’s understanding and considerate, and he listens when you share your intimate thoughts and feelings with him.

The next thing to consider when fishing for a man is everyday life. A woman should look for a man that she can share daily life experiences with. If you aren’t whatsoever into outdoor activities, chances are that you will not be happy with a man that lives to camp, fish, hike, or climb mountains. If you absolutely love the opera and he hates it, that’s workable. If you cannot live without making every opera ever performed, and he hates it, you might want to look for a man that loves the opera. If he loves home cooked meals and you are allergic to the kitchen, you might want to look for a man that is into takeout and eating out. If you want wild monkey sex every single day and think sex is all there is to life and he isn’t all that into sex, you might want to look for a monkey instead of a man.

Compatibility is necessary for a happy and healthy relationship. But to be compatible, you simply must know yourself and be yourself. Being true to yourself will allow you to hook the right man, the one that is compatible with your personality.

We all want to be loved and accepted. But too often we want it so bad that we settle for anyone, even if we love them and they love us. Unfortunately, just loving someone isn’t a reason to marry them. The reason is that even though it might be love, if the personalities clash, it won’t last. A woman wants to find a man that fits her.

While there are always exceptions to this, in general a woman wants to fish for a man that is a fit for how she thinks and feels, that loves her for who she is in all ways, that has the same likes and dislikes for the most part, that she can share her intimate thoughts with, and that she can trust.

If however you are only fishing for a man that’s got money and material things, it’s best to throw the fishing pole away right now. The last thing a woman should ever do is look for a man to take care of her financially. That is the most wrong reason there can be to look for a man. If you’re not in it for love and for the man, don’t be in it. Not only is it wrong, it’s not going to work. Men shouldn’t be used or hurt, and to want one only so that he will take care of you is just plain wrong. Money can be gone in a heartbeat, and it doesn’t keep you warm at night like love does.

On the other side of the coin is the man that only wants a woman for her looks. If the man you are interested in is only into looks and uses you for a trophy on his arm, throw him back and look for one that loves the real you, the real you that’s underneath the skin. If he doesn’t like who you are as a person, throw him back and look for one that loves you for you. Looks fade, but real beauty stays because it’s underneath the skin.

In order to hook the man that’s right for you, get to know yourself. Go fishing for the man that makes your heart smile, that is always there, that loves who you are, that makes you laugh, that’s honest with you, and that know how you like your chocolate.

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