Note: This article can be various types of relationships… the girlfriend or boyfriend that broke up, a marriage that ended, or even a best friend that walked away…
If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process. Sometimes it’s a slow process, too. You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.
If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.
If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.
If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.
Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have motives for help you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.
Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.
Popularity: 4% [?]
Tagged as:
divorce,
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moving on
Note: This article can be various types of relationships… the girlfriend or boyfriend that broke up, a marriage that ended, or even a best friend that walked away…
When a relationship ends, especially if you’re not the one who ended it, how to get over someone becomes very important. It’s not always easy to get over a person you’ve been with, though. If you’ve been with that person for a very long time it’s even harder. It might be pretty easy to get over a relationship that’s lasted 3 months. But if you’ve been with someone for 3 years, it’s hard to get over that person at all, let alone get over them quickly. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to speed up the process.
When you’re wondering how to get over someone, sit in a chair in your living room or bedroom, wherever there’s a very strong sense of the other person. Remove anything that reminds you of that person a great deal. This isn’t always easy to do, but every little bit helps. If you’ve bought a dog together, for instance, of course you won’t want to get rid of the dog. But anything your ex bought for you that’s on display like a knick-knack or something hanging on the wall would be a good thing to remove for a while.
If you have lots of things that will remind you of your ex, you’re probably wondering how to get over someone without making your rooms completely bare. But even if you picked out practically everything together, you don’t have to remove everything to make this work. Just choose items that have particularly strong memories.
Maybe you picked out the couch together, but it’s one of the throw pillows that you bought or the figurine on the end table he or she gave you as a gift that seems to make you feel sad when you look at it. Remove those items and store them for a while, just to make things easier on you.
If you’re having a really hard time and feel that you can handle it, you can think of all your ex’s bad qualities. Of all the methods of how to get over someone, this is the one where you actually think of your ex the most, so if just the very thought of them brings you to tears you might not be ready for this step. Think of the things you disliked the most about them. If you can’t thing of anything, just move on. But most of us can come up with a long list of things we dislike about someone, especially if they were the ones to end the relationship.
A popular method of how to get over someone is to simply start dating again. Many people balk at this idea—they think they still love the ex and aren’t ready. You can do this even if you’re still in love with your ex. No one says you have to fall in love anytime soon. But dating or even going out with friends isn’t just how to get over someone, it’s how to keep from feeling sorry for yourself while you try.
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Letting Go,
moving on
It happens everyday. A woman is abused…physically, emotionally, verbally, mentally. Physical abuse happens all too often to entirely too many women. But she’s not hit by some random stranger. She’s hit by the man she’s married to or lives with, the man that she loves and who is supposed to love her. So why doesn’t she just leave him?
Unfortunately, it sounds easy to just walk away. But it’s not that easy. The man who abuses the woman will usually threaten her in various ways. He will tell her that if she leaves, he will hurt her or her loved ones. He might threaten to hurt himself. Too often the man degrades the woman, so much so that she believes no one else would have her, that she has no place to go, that it’s her fault he loses control and hits her. And in some warped way, she believes that the attention he gives her by abusing her is better than no attention, and that it’s love. So she stays with him and the cycle continues.
A woman who is abused often has very low self esteem. The man who abuses her often does also. He feels he has no control over his life and therefore seeks to control the woman, and in his mind demeaning her and hurting her will make her stay with him, because he has her thinking she can’t survive without him.
Often the man who abuses was abused himself earlier in life, or witnessed abuse. He has a need to try to control and that need often turns into abusing the woman he is with. In general these men appear to be very caring and supportive, when in essence they are really very insecure and afraid of losing the woman they are abusing.
There are many excuses that a man gives for abusing a woman. He can call it love, he can say he is protecting her, he can say his wife will do as he says, he can say she needs someone to keep her in line, he can say she can’t make it without him, he can say she deserves it. It’s still abuse, it’s not love, but there is hope for him if he can see what he is doing.
Too many women think that they can change their abusive man. They believe him when he says he won’t hit them again after he does it again and again. They hide the bruises, they lie about how about why they have to cancel plans with friends, they cover up for him and the cycle continues. The only one that can change the abusive man is the man himself. He has to see what he is doing and want to change. No one can stop his controlling nature for him. But the woman can get out of that dangerous living situation. She can leave. She can have a peaceful life, and one without being hit on and abused.
There are battered women’s shelters all over the country. A woman always has a place that she can go to escape abuse. If a woman is threatened, this is a safe place to go. While sometimes a man who threatens will actually carry out that threat, that’s more rare than the norm. Threats are usually lame attempts to keep the woman from leaving.
Stay with a friend, family, even church members. There is always a place to go, and a way out. A woman who hasn’t worked and doesn’t have income can get help! There’s schooling, there are jobs, there is a way out. It’s not always easy to start over, but the freedom and peace of mind make it all worth it.
One of the hardest parts will be the decision of whether to go back to the man that was hurting you when he says he has changed. People DO change, and there is hope for a man that has abused his wife. To lump all abusers into one basket and say don’t go back is just wrong. Some do change, but some don’t. A lot really depends on the man, his background, his desire to overcome his past, how much he really wants to change, and how much he really wants his wife back in his life.
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Tagged as:
Abuse,
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